Week 17, 2017

Monday was cool until my last class. There is a boy in that class that is known for touching himself, no, full on masturbating while in class. I made eye contact with him whilst he was rubbing away and said,  “uh what are you doing? Put both of your hands on the desk right now.” He complied but resumed as soon as I turned to write on the board. I felt so sorry for the boy sitting next to him 😳

Last week I received a formal invitation to my Korean coworker’s wedding in June. I was like cool! Then I realized I have the most casual closet in the universe and nothing appropriate to wear. I was voicing this concern out loud and one of my coworkers had the attitude of, “omg just get a dress…” Right, because I’ll fit into tiny Korean clothes. I don’t really understand how a person looking at me could think my butt could fit into Korean clothes. The top half, yes; but the bottom half…you’ve probably got to get your eyes checked.

Wednesday we had a campus dinner after work. We all went to eat Indian food. I was starving and decided to forgo the picking out of peas (a food I am allergic to) and eat the aloo samosa straight away. This was a very bad idea and I paid for it later on. The rest of the food was amazing and it brought back many memories that feel like a lifetime ago when I lived in Chicago.

Friday was chaos. My baby student who is four got hit in the face by another student… after he finished yelling at the offender, he looked at me with those “I’m going to start bawling” eyes, and raised his arms to be picked up. So of course I picked him up, inspected his face, and asked him if he’s okay. He cried maybe one tear and was okay.  Later another student in the same class was swinging between the tables, slipped, and hit his head on the floor after I told him twice to stop doing so. After that incident I made all the boys line up against the wall. 

After classes we decorated the campus for children’s day in a Pokémon theme. We were fed pizza. It was cool. 

Yesterday I went to Korean class… nothing special but I realized I’m exactly like my students that don’t really study English and show up to class. 

Lately I’ve been feeling a little more lost than usual, battling myself in my head, and being a bit sad. 

It’s pretty isolating living here. I have met some people staying at hostels, over the internet, at Korean class, and at work but those relationships don’t ever seem to be anything more than superficial. I’ve learned that when Koreans say, “next time” they are essentially saying, “fuck off, let’s not meet again.” So that’s been an interesting learning experience. 

I am not happy with my job environment but I like the main part of my job…do I stay in Korea and try to find a different job and hope it has better aspects than the one I currently have or do I go home and again become the miserable shell of a human I was when I lived there? Do I try to find a job in a different country? Fuuuuck if I know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

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Yep, still don’t know what’s going on or when I’m leaving…

So, my documents that were submitted to the immigration office in South Korea somehow got fudged up and my visa identification number (VIN) should have been here on August 2…it is now August 10. I literally cannot answer anyone’s queries about my departure. All I know is that I am to sit here patiently until I receive my VIN and then ship my other set of paperwork off to the Korean consulate in Chicago.

I do know that my last day at good ol’ Target is this Friday, August 12; and though I won’t miss all the self important asshats that think their deli meat is the utmost importance, I will miss the friends I’ve made and all the gross deli innuendo we’ve formulated over the past (nearly) two years.

Unknowns and Anxiety

So, I’ve been fielding a lot of questions about how I feel about my up and coming move across the world and it kind of bothers me that I don’t have a lot of the information that people questioning me seek. I don’t know specifically where I’m going to be living, what my address will be, what condition my housing is in. I don’t know much about the school other than its address and name. I don’t know if I’m going to only stay for a year or extend my living abroad after this. Shit, I don’t even know when my flight to go over to Korea is yet – just that I have to be there before the 22nd of August, which is the first date of my contract.

There are so many unknowns about this whole situation and it makes me anxious. Clearly it’s bearable because there are thousands of native English teachers living abroad and have survived to write, blog, or speak about it. I just have a problem with the unknowns.